Grace-aholic

#codeorangerevival

2012-01-21T13:33:00.000-06:00

Say what you will about him, but TD Jakes delivered an amazing sermon last night at Elevation church. So I felt compelled to share with you what I took from it. There are still two nights left of this revival. Don't miss it!! Thank you again Lysa Terkeurst for sharing this with us.

things I liked from last night's broadcast of #codeorangerevival:

· Our God is a God of crescendos. He’s ever increasing.

· We as Christians love principles more than people. God did NOT die for principles but for people!

· Do not doubt your worth Jesus died for you.

· How can you doubt your worth when you’ve already been purchased?

· God is accessible to you. You don’t need anyone else to reach Him for you. And you can reach Him anywhere whether it’s in a closet, at an altar, in a car, in the shower, in the bed, or where ever!!

· I never knew how my parents loved me until I had a sick child.

· Just because Dr’s can’t do it or a man can’t do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. It’s a just right job for Jesus.

· The greatest lessons are learned while waiting.

· When you talk more about your problem than your promise you are praising your problem.

· Faith is born when man’s ability fails.

· The world needs radical Christians.

· If the human spirit is strong enough to hang on to life long enough to say goodbye to a grandchild before passing away, then imagine how strong the Holy Spirit is.

The Sermon Notes start here:

• In the OT the high priest couldn’t be touched. There were many ceremonial types of washing that had to take place. Sometimes days had to pass before someone could touch the high priest. We have a high priest that can be touched!

Key Verses from the sermon

1. Heb 4:15- For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

2. Luke 8:46-And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.

To understand this text of scripture you have to understand that Jesus was on His way to see Jairius’ daughter who was very sick. Jairius had requested that Jesus come and help her so Jesus was on His way to her and had a large group of men around him following Him there. The woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8 had been suffering for 12 years. She had lost money, relationships and was kept from touching or sitting anywhere without it being considered unclean. The law prohibited her from touching anything. This woman’s religion kept her from touching and told her not to touch Jesus. She went beyond her religion to a relationship. This woman had to climb OVER her history to get to her Destiny and so do you. Sometimes you just have to push your way and press through the crowd to Him. She was not walking to Jesus’ front; she was coming up from behind Him. She was probably saying inwardly to herself the entire time, “If I can but touch, if I can only touch, just one touch”. Have you ever felt like God had His back to you and was healing and working miracles for everyone but you? That’s how she felt. She drug through on her hands and knees and pressed through all the men just to get a touch of the hem of his garment. This woman was hemorrhaging and weak and crawling and she still caught up to a healthy young Jesus and you can catch up to Him too. She didn’t even touch Him, but touched something that was touching Him and she was IMMEDIATELY healed by the hem of His garment. The nastiest dirtiest dragging the ground part of His clothes Healed her. Jesus asked, “Who touched me”. It was dangerous for her to admit she had touched Him. The law and her religion told her she shouldn’t have even been in the crowd of men and certainly not to touch them. The woman knew she had to come forth because she had been made whole. I hope you haven’t forgotten about me saying that Jesus was on his way to see Jairius’ daughter. Also know that when the woman with the issue of blood was healed a man that came and told Jesus that Jairius’ daughter had died.

· One had been 12 years sick and one was 12 years old.

· One is the coming generation and one is a mature generation that is losing strength and blood.

· He gives life to the mature and takes it from the young.

· He heals the “former” and “resurrects” the latter.

· If you’re over 40 get ready to get healed.

· If you’re under 40 get ready to be resurrected.

· This generation is the one that everyone says, “Christ is not in them.” Know that God is able and he is resurrecting this generation.

In a pickle

2012-01-03T17:20:00.000-06:00

For Christmas I got a Kindle E reader and I LOVE it! (Thank you secret sister @ church) I downloaded a book called The Pantry Cleaner: Chemical Free Cleaning because it peaked my curiosity about the products I use to clean my home. For those of you that don't know I really enjoy cleaning. I know that doesn't sound right but it's true. Now having the time to do the cleaning I would like is another matter entirely. And in case you didn't know dusting is not cleaning. I loathe dusting. Really, I do. This is a hereditary trait. I get it from my Mom-ma...among other things we will not discuss today;0)

There are a couple of recipes I tried from the book so far and am very happy with them both! My shower is a stand up shower and gets so grimy very quickly. The bottom of the shower always has this discolored yuck that regardless of how much bleach or any other cleaner it would not come up! I've scrubbed and soaked and name a cleaner and I've tried it. Thanks to this book, however, I have a very UN-grimy shower and it's even white! What did I use??

(Insert drum roll here)

A rag with vinegar poured on it and baking soda sprinkled on the rag and then I scrubbed it off. I couldn't believe it. Yeah it smelled like a pickle for a bit but when the vinegar dries the smell goes with it and leaves a clean fresh surface and no smell! I have made some spray bottles of vinegar and water and been cleaning everything with it and my counters are even whiter. It even took old coffee rings and stains up. The only thing it doesn't recommend using the vinegar on is tile because it eats the grout and marble surfaces. Another great recipe is for laundry detergent. It has the consistency of a snot but works great so far. And what to use as fabric softener? Vinegar. I'm not even kidding. I was skeptical too but had some time off this week and thought I'd give it a try. And before anyone says so, we are not walking around smelling like pickles I promise. The vinegar gets the excess detergent out of the clothes and when you get them out of the wash you can't even tell there was vinegar on them and they are soft. It's crazy but it works. Give it a try for yourself and see or don't. Just thought I'd share with anyone that was interested.

Laundry Detergent

1 bar ivory soap, grated

2 cups Arm & hammer washing soda (laundry isle)

2 gallons hot water

Place grated soap in a saucepan with enough water to cover. Cook on low stirring frequently until melted. Pour hot water into a large bucket or pot. Add melted soap and stir well. Add washing soda and stir until combined. Use 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup per load.

Pickle on people, pickle on.( I had one of these Super Pickle's when I was a baby and it was my favorite thing. Wish I still had it...)

On the Downhill Slide

2011-12-27T10:35:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time! Turns out this is looking like a seasonal blog. Thanksgiving was my last post and now Christmas. Needless to say my free time is non existent these days. I am going to try and work on that and slow my roll in this upcoming year. I always hated hearing older adults or my parents tell me how fast the year was passing or life in general and now I've turned into them. This year was a blur for me. I'm not exaggerating at all. I don't know where it went. It is unreal to me that 2012 is at our door already.

We survived Christmas and it was wonderful as usual. Sadly enough I got caught up in the material aspect of it and lost sight of the true meaning. On Christmas eve night I was tucking the kids into bed and saying prayers and Gunner did the sweetest thing. I heard him humming and I said, "Sweetie what are you singing?" He said, " Happy Birthday to Jesus Mommy. Don't you know it's Jesus' Birthday?" Needless to say I was a mess and I helped him finish singing. Out of the mouths of babes. He's 6 and growing way too fast but I pray he always knows that God loves him and his relationship with God is the very most important thing he'll ever have. It made me think about the day I had my boys. Everyone around me awaiting the long anticipated arrival of sweet babies. I couldn't help but think of Mary and how her heart must have skipped a few beats when she first laid eyes on Jesus. The joy my heart felt when I seen my babies was unlike any I have ever experienced or ever will. Can you imagine Mary's joy? The savior of the world wrapped in flesh and her the mother of God. Wow. My mind can't wrap around it but my heart sure feels it. On Christmas morning I asked my kids before a single present was opened one question. "Were you good enough this year to receive all these gifts?" They looked a little sad and were honest and admitted that they had definitely not been their best throughout 2011. I told them to keep that in mind and remember what Christmas truly is and who it's really about and that none of us were good enough to receive Christ either but He is our greatest gift. I'm so thankful for Christmas and the true meaning of it all whether it happened in December or Winter or not. It's still the time we celebrate and shouldn't we be celebrating all year?

My after Christmas job is now the organizing part;0) Not one of my favorite things to do but it's got to be done. If you have any good websites or clutter cutting ideas I'll take them all!

And this is a book I read about three months ago and have yet to review until now. Aren't I the overachiever?This is an excellent novel from one of my favorite authors Stephen Arterburn. This is his first fictional piece but based it on real events. It's a great story of forgiveness and the long journey a man takes to find his birth mother and how he handles all the questions he has for her. He's a wealthy successful man that has had a void his entire life because of the unknown details about his mother. I can't tell you how it ends or give details but it is a fantastic read. You'll love it!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Thankful

2011-11-23T15:59:00.001-06:00

It's that time of year again and the question is asked...What are you thankful for? I read something today that has struck me silent. (that is hard to do at times)
Here it is: What if God blessed you today with only the things you thanked Him for yesterday?
Did you just swallow a lump out of your throat too?
Having a grateful heart allows no room for complaints or sorrow. I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving and I have a request from you. Please, Please pray for my sister in Christ Kasey Van Norman. She is going through chemo and keeping a video diary and writing on her blog about her experience. I've loved her blog for a long while now and she is such an inspiration to me and I'm sure she would be to you as well. Check it out by clicking on her name above. She has had me laughing and crying and I just want to lift her up to Him and I know He's using her for His glory.

No Wonder They Call Him the Savior

2011-10-11T12:51:00.000-05:00

From Max Lucado's "No Wonder They call Him the Savior"

It makes me smile to think that there is a grinning ex-con walking the golden streets who knows more about grace than a thousand theologians.

Have you ever thought about the theif on the cross's story? Does it tell you what value God places on people? Our society is losing it's regard for human life. We see it everywhere how unborn children are not even worthy enough to be called human or a child, let alone live. Thank God He's so vastly different. We try and label what we believe grace is and how far it reaches. In Max Lucado's "No Wonder They call Him the Savior" we see the cross and Christ like never before. It's such a great eye opener on the message of the Cross and what it means. I pray I'm never so religious I am not moved to tears when I think of the Cross and what it means for me. How humbling to know God's grace and all that hung on that cross.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Ascent From Darkness: A True Story

2011-09-20T13:30:00.001-05:00

I promised in my earlier post that I would seen be reviewing my latest book and that it was so good and let me tell you how much of an understatement that was! Here is the book:

This is a true story. I love true stories! As a Christian there have been times in my life when I've wondered, "Have I gone too far from God?" or "How far does God's grace really extend and is there a stopping point to it?" or like the Casting Crowns song says " Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from you leaving me this way. Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west?" Have you ever been there? I'm sure there are times you have. This man's testimony is perfect for that question. This man has the perfect life story to witness to and help those who feel like they've gone beyond too far. The book's description from Christianbook.com is this:
The redemptive story of one man's journey from Satanism to a radical new life in Christ! Learn how the worst decision of Leehan's life---to make a pact with the devil---led to ritualistic sacrifices, detachment, incarceration, and misery. But God thwarted Leehan's demonic "assignment"---to murder his pastor---and flooded his life with grace!
This man went from as far from one extreme as he could've to the other. Another great thing about this book is the fact that it brings you face to face with the reality that there is a battle raging for man's soul. There is another world besides the one we see. Whether we want to admit to that or not it's true. Satan is the father of lies and the deceiver of all men. The funny thing is that he even has himself deceived. He believes he stands a chance against God. I've read about that in the Bible and he is sadly mistaken. We think of Satan as some mystical made up red horned cartoon thing and that's just not how he puts himself out there folks. He makes sin look so good. He shows you everything appealing about it but never the negative. He loves to appeal to our flesh that we can't escape. He loves to thwart Christians in their outreach and ministry so all the people who aren't Christians can look at us and say, "Well I'm not a Christian and I'm not half as bad as that guy there." Let me tell you that apart from Christ there will be none of us good enough to gain entry into Heaven. Not one.

If the truth were shown in our world instead of his lies billboard signs for alcohol wouldn't have half naked women on them or people laughing and having a good time. Instead the billboards would look more like a child crying and his parents fighting. Or it might have a mother going into a morgue to identify her daughter who had just been hit head on by someone who had been drinking and driving. Maybe it would show you the wife who had tried everything she knew to make her husband quit drinking and how she stayed and loved him despite it and just tried to help him. Will those be the images you see? Absolutely not. That's the reality of it though. Affairs wouldn't be so attractive if it showed the hell that it puts the children through that are victims of their parents sin. Sin looks good and the minute it looks good you are already deceived. Sin takes you further than you wanted to go and longer than you wanted to stay.You don't see overdoses and suicides portrayed and glamorized because there is NOTHING glamorous about them. We are living in a fallen world. Satan is the prince and the power of the air. But God is over it all and there will be a day when enough is enough. God is the only one that knows that. Not even the angels in Heaven.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Snuggies, and Jackets, and Sweaters, Oh My!

2011-09-15T09:04:00.000-05:00

I've been so busy lately with my kiddos I haven't had much time for blogging. We have two in football and one in color guard and cheerleading. It's enough to make this momma CRAZY! I'm not even working or in school at the moment and still find it hard to find extra time. I start classes back on my birthday again just like last year! How crazy is that? I also start back to work in October so I better enjoy this extra time while I have it. In July, Lord willing, I will graduate! I'm looking forward to that day. The weather here is much cooler than it has been and I am really enjoying my coffee a little more than usual because of it. And...I can't begin to describe how excited I am about sweatshirt wearing, jacket wearing, sweater wearing, and "covering it up" wearing weather! I LOVE it. Not real cold, but just enough to want to snuggle up! Oh and how could I leave out my SNUGGIE!!! That thing is hideous but I do love my Snuggie. We all have one. Even the dog. I should take our pic in it and put it on Christmas cards and send them out. That would be great! We'll end up on one of those horrid "family pics gone" wrong websites. Well at least none of us have mullets!(if you have a mullet I apologize. They're just not for me or anyone really...) I can't wait to do my next book review on here. The one I'm reading now maybe one of the very best yet. I can't tell what it is yet or even what it's about but it is a true story and it is very hard to put down! More on that in another post!

My mom came by last night with a car full of sweets such as Oreo balls, cupcakes, no bake cookies, rice crispy treats, etc from a fund raiser her place of employment had for the American Heart Association and I turned them down! (And let me just ramble a little here and say, "What in the world were they doing selling artery clogging goods for the AMERICAN HEART ASSOCIATION??? I guess they are looking to give them job security. Who knows!?) Saying "no" to that may be one of the hardest things to date I've done but Lord knows I don't need them and it was 8:30 and it was bed time for the boys and I was not about to let her bring those devilish goods in this house! So what did she do with them? Jeff went outside and took them and put them all in his truck. LOL I'm not even kidding. He said he was going to take them to work and distribute them. That was OK with me just as long as they didn't get distributed across my backside! We had homecoming at church this past Sunday and I ate enough and cooked enough for that without eating all the things that Mom brought. Not to mention Jared will be 11 on next Wednesday and there will be cake, and I'll be having my birthday on the 27th. I'll splurge then! I'm going to wrap it up with all that until I can write again. Below is my devotional for today and thought it was just way too good not to share! Hope you enjoy!

I can't help but think of the shape our world is in when I read this devotional. But, I know how this story ends. It's a happy ending for me. Will it be a happy ending for you?

September 15: Defeat? Not Even An Option!
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Today, are you on the brink of sinking into defeat? Then consider Paul's plight:

"Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked." (2 Corinthians 11:24-27)

And what was Paul's response to life's would be "defeats"? "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)

Defeat? Not even an option!

Abraham Lincoln ignored "defeat" on his road to becoming America's most beloved and greatest President:

Failed in business in 1831
Defeated for Legislature in 1832
Second failure in business in 1833
Suffered nervous breakdown in 1836
Defeated for Speaker in 1838
Defeated for election in 1840
Defeated for Congress in 1848
Defeated for Senate in 1855
Defeated for Vice President in 1856
Defeated for Senate in 1858
Elected for President in 1860
Defeat? Not even an option!

Perhaps the birds have it best figured out: "Said the Robin to the Sparrow: 'I should really like to know why these anxious humans rush about and worry so.' Said the Sparrow to the Robin, 'Friend, I think that it must be that they have no heavenly Father such as cares for you and me.'" (Elizabeth Cheney)

So today, choose to rest your hand in His as He grants you victory out of the jaws of defeat. "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again… A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all." (Proverbs 24:16a; Psalm 34:19)

Defeat? Not even an option!

—Facts of the Matter

Plus Nothing

2011-09-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

If Christ is not personal to you please friend think about and evaluate your faith. If you are relying on anything or anyone to gain you entry into Heaven APART from Christ then please my friend evaluate your faith. If the cross is not personal to YOU then please friend, evaluate your faith. In Christ alone...

It's not Jesus + your works = Heaven

It's not Jesus + your words = Heaven

it's not Jesus + your job = Heaven

It's not Jesus + your education= Heaven

It's not Jesus + your family= Heaven

It's not Jesus + your religion= Heaven

It's not Jesus + your friends= Heaven

It's not Jesus + your money= Heaven

My friends it's Jesus + NOTHING = Heaven

In Christ ALONE. Nothing can be added. Nothing can be taken away. How much faith do you have in your faith? Why do you believe what you believe? Because Papaw did? Because Mom did? Because Mamaw did? Because Dad did? Don't base your faith on another's. If it's not personal to you and life changing for YOU then what does it profit you?

Stumbling into Grace...yeah that's me

2011-08-31T14:33:00.000-05:00

READ THIS BOOK!!!!! It's super funny and a great bible study for all of us who are so grace needy but maybe not so graceful.

Perfectly Broken

2011-08-06T13:31:00.000-05:00

I'm broken, I'm ashamed, and I'm amazed at how quickly time passes when I started wandering from the will of God. Reading every day, not just to be reading but to be close to Him. To think of His ways. To think of how He wants me to live. To be pure in His sight. To surrender my thoughts. To surrender my will. To take my mind from this life and think about the one that awaits me after this one. I will answer for it all. And what will I even be able to say? Yes thank God for His grace and mercy, but He is also a Holy God and a God of wrath and judgment and when in the balance with Christ I'm found lacking. Broken and contrite...

Billy Graham in Quotes

2011-07-06T15:03:00.000-05:00

You will never understand who you are until you understand who God is.
Each generation becomes more addicted to the sedatives of life, to dull the pain of living.
I believe America has gone down a long way down the wrong road. If we ever needed God's help it's now.
Nations rise, they flourish for a time, and then they decline. Eventually every empire comes to an end; not even the greatest can last forever.
The great flaw in the American economic system has finally been revealed: an unrealistic faith in the power of prosperity rather than in the ultimate power and benevolence of God.
The American dream became America's god; wealth and abundance have become the measure of America's success. But--as recent events have shown--we have been living an illusion.
The Bible... is the only Book that offers man a redemption and points the way out of his dilemmas. It is our one sure guide in an unsure world.
Be attractive and winsome, but do not compromise your convictions for the sake of popularity.
No matter how much you exercise, no matter how many vitamins or health foods you eat, no matter how low your cholesterol, you will still die--someday. If you knew the moment and manner of your death in advance, would you order your life differently?
God has a plan and the devil has a plan, and you will have to decide which plan are you going to fit into?
Don't be bound by the past and your failures. But don't forget it's lessons either.

God's Love Vs. Human Love via Max on Life

2011-06-28T12:04:00.000-05:00

I recently read Max Lucado's new book "Max on Life" in which He covers a multitude of questions on all different aspects and points of life. There was one question that stood out in particular to me ,and I can't explain it any better than he did, so I just thought I'd post it here. It's the differences in human love and God's love. While I'm not going to type it word for word I am using his text from the book and anything that's from me will not be in Italics.

Human Love= Convenient

God's Love= Eternal

(Think about it. It's easy to love someone when they're pleasing you and fitting into your schedule and needs. You are always on God's itinerary. Come and go as you please but He is always there!)

Human Love= Limited

God's Love= Unlimited

(Human love can only love as much as it wants to give. God has ample amounts of love and even uses words like abundant when talking about pouring His love out on people)

Human Love= Emotional

God's Love= Committed

(If there's one thing I know as a woman it's emotional! I don't always feel very loving do you all? My feelings sometimes dominate my level of "loving". Hormones, sleeplessness, worry, past hurts, Mexican food--all complicate these emotions. While God has feelings for us, His feelings do not dictate His love for us. Your actions don't increase or decrease His commitment. Thank GOD!!)

Human Love= Selfish

God's Love= Unselfish

(Human love basically says you must meet my needs, and to be loved you have to love me. God is totally the opposite. In fact, if you never loved God at all He will still love you. Your love has no bearing on the love He lavishes on you.)

Our goal as Christians should be to express God's love in our human relationships. We should all have someone in our lives on whom we can look back and say, " I saw God's love in that person."

There are people in my life I can say that about. I want to be that person in other people's lives. Radically loving, even if I don't feel like it. Even on the most "hormonal" of days. Lord help me to love even if it hurts a little!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Motherly Humor and Confession

2011-04-15T17:54:00.000-05:00

I want to be a “super” mom and be at all the school functions and bake all the perfect treats for school and have the calmest demeanor that exists but that has yet to happen! I have a feeling that it probably won’t and I should just accept the fact that I’m doing the best I can and try harder next year. I’ve compiled a list of things that I have undoubtedly screwed up in my raising my children and some things that I have done as a mother. This is also a possible list of future topics of conversation in a psychiatrist’s office some years down the road when my children have reached adulthood and are lying on that couch retelling the horror that ensued from their deranged mother. Don’t judge me, I'm hard enough on myself. For those of you that are familiar with a few of these, enjoy!
This list is in no particular order.

• Both of my youngest children fell off of my full size bed by the time they were two months old. No injuries to them, but emotional damage to me.

• I used to overfeed my first child when he was a newborn to the point he would projectile vomit when I tried to burp him. I breastfed him and I never knew exactly how much he was eating so I was afraid he wasn’t getting enough.

• I’ve repeatedly broke the record for sagging diaper to the knees when my boys were toddlers.

• I have, not once but twice, washed a diaper in a load of laundry. There were those gel balls everywhere!

• All bottles were boiled and disinfected for my first child but I only did that for the first month when my second one came along.

• Paci’s that were dropped in the floor got boiled and changed out when my oldest was a baby but when his baby brother came along they just got stuck in my mouth and licked off and put back in his mouth.

• I’ve woke up feeling like I was in a horror movie on more than one occasion with a child that isn’t saying a word but has came in my and my husband’s room and just stood at the end of our bed and stared. It is an awful feeling being woke up because you feel those beady eyes at 3am.

Nice socked feet on Gunner and Hayden was not happy about this guy at all!!

• I had my first sons pictures made every 3 months until he was a year old and then yearly after that but my youngest son only has a hospital picture, a 3 month picture and a 2 year old picture.

• I went in the bathroom to clean it and I had cleaned everything but still smelled urine really strong in the bathroom and finally figured it out. The garbage can was full of pee. When I asked all the boys which one did it my youngest admitted to it. I asked him if there was someone using the toilet and if that was his only option and he said, “No, he just felt like peeing in the trash can” This child was 5 at the time he did this.

• I watched in the rear view mirror of my car the act of my 2 year old feeding my one month old something and when I asked what he was putting in his brother’s mouth he said, “my booger”. All I could do was cry.

• My oldest son spent so much time in his swing it’s a wonder it didn’t do some kind of damage to his sense of balance.

• When the youngest was 17 months old he woke up from a nap and was completely naked when he came to me in the kitchen and said he peed in his pull-up and needed a new one. I told him to hold on a second and I would get him one because I was on the computer and he came and stood beside me and pooped in the floor. As if that wasn't bad enough I took a picture of him and sent it out to friends and family. (My Uncle said he didn't know which was worse..the face that the kid had pooped in the floor or the fact that his mom had to take a picture of it.)

• I hate crickets and I call them bastards( I know that's awful, but it's true). My youngest son only in the last year found out that they really are called crickets. I have since referred to them as crickets.

• I’ve ate more of their Halloween candy than they ever have.

• If there is a parking lot that we have parked in, then my boys have peed in it.

• Ordering Happy Meals is a nightmare. My youngest two children used to give me a run down of exactly how their hamburger should be assembled. It wasn’t good enough to say plain or plain with cheese only. They had to say, “I want a hamburger with meat and cheese and two breads.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve actually ordered it this way and they’ve asked, “Do you mean a plain cheeseburger?”

• When my husband and I were dating we made a Wal-Mart trip. We were at the checkout and my youngest son was 17 months old and in the seat of the cart while my 3 year old was harassing me for a coke. It was one of those trips where my husband was already in the van with his kids because he couldn’t take it anymore and I had the cart mounded over with stuff and was stressed to the MAX ready to get out of there. I had uttered numerous expletives to myself and some out loud. I gave in to the three year old and got a sprite out of the cooler and took the top off of it and put some in the baby’s sippy and gave the three year old what was left in the bottle. Well for any of you that have ever put a carbonated beverage in a sippy cup you know what happens. It will start fizzing or spraying out the top if it gets shook up. The baby throws his sippy in the floor after one drink and the cup spins in circles spraying sprite the entire time its spinning. There are people getting sprayed in the legs with sprite including me before I can even get to it. At this point I can literally feel my face get red and I’m tempted to just take my kids and leave the cart where it sits, but it’s finally our turn to check out. The sweet naïve teenager that checks me out informs me how her sister never puts carbonated beverages in sippy cups and that her kids don’t even get cokes or sprite. I then informed the teenage girl that after a trip to Wal-Mart (which in itself is a nightmare) and neither one of my children have listened to me and the other two kids have already been taken to the vehicle and one of them spanked and we’ve made two different trips to the bathroom because two of them had to poop and then the whole sprite spraying incident happened I was lucky to have enough sense to fill a check out let alone have to listen to a child tell me how to raise my children and especially someone that did not have any of their own. The girl never said another word.

• One time after a weekend run to go out to eat and to make the DREADED Wal-Mart trip we were getting back on the parkway headed home. There was an elderly couple in front of us and they were poking down the ramp and my husband was in a very big hurry to get home and get out of the van. He has road rage and started cussing the slow moving car and as soon as he could he sped off around them. ( I promise we’re normal people and please don’t refer us to CPS) I was so mad that he had made such a reckless move especially when all the kids were in the van. The more I yelled at him the madder I got and he had a coke in the cup older and I picked it up and sloshed it on his face. It went all over his head all over the roof in the van and all over my 3 year old and 17 month old in the back. The older kids in the very back were laughing because my husband had coke all over him and the younger two in the middle were whining because they had coke on them too. Before I knew what hit me my husband had picked up a 32oz glass of ice water I had drank on on the way up to Bowling Green and threw it on my face. I definitely got the worse end of the deal. There was way more water in that cup than coke in the one I tossed on him. The kids still talk about that and the roof inside the van is still stained with coke.

While this certainly isn’t every area I’ve experienced as a mother or messed up you get the idea. I’m far from perfect and haven’t done everything right or by the book. I love my kids and hope that along with some of the crazy things that they’ll have many good and funny memories of their Momma too.

Some Sunday morning Spurgeon and a little something more...

2011-04-10T08:16:00.000-05:00

I love Charles Spurgeon and I had to share this with you all!! Hope you have a terrific Sunday and be sure to check out the video at the end.(it has absolutely nothing to do with Spurgeon and it is in fact quite odd)

Where showers fall most, there the grass is greenest. I suppose the fogs and mists of Ireland make it "the Emerald Isle"; and whenever you find great fogs of trouble, and mists of sorrow, you always find emerald green hearts; full of the beautiful verdure of the comfort and love of God. O Christian, do not thou be saying, "Where are the swallows gone? They are gone; they are dead." They are not dead; they have skimmed the purple sea, and gone to a far-off land; but they will be back again by and by. Child of God, say not the flowers are dead; say not the winter has killed them, and they are gone. Ah, no! though winter hath coated them with the ermine of its snow; they will put up their heads again, and will be alive very soon. Say not, child of God, that the sun is quenched, because the cloud hath hidden it. Ah, no; he is behind there, brewing summer for thee; for when he cometh out again, he will have made the clouds fit to drop in April showers, all of them mothers of the sweet May flowers. And oh! above all, when thy God hides His face, say not that He hath forgotten thee. He is but tarrying a little while to make thee love Him better; and when He cometh, thou shalt have joy in the Lord, and shalt rejoice with joy unspeakable. Waiting exercises our grace; waiting tries our faith; therefore, wait on in hope; for though the promise tarry, it can never come too late.

--C. H. Spurgeon

***

"Oh, every year hath its winter,

And every year hath its rain--

But a day is always coming

When the birds go north again.

"When new leaves swell in the forest,

And grass springs green on the plain,

And alders' veins turn crimson--

And the birds go north again.

"Oh, every heart hath its sorrow,

And every heart hath its pain--

But a day is always coming

When the birds go north again.

"'Tis the sweetest thing to remember,

If courage be on the wane,

When the cold, dark days are over--

Why, the birds go north again."

As the mother of boys we have been watching some live eagle cams in the last couple of weeks and have got to witness three eggs hatch and have been checking up on them everyday. You can too by clicking here. This video below is of an owl and she has 6 eggs in her nest and throughout the video there is an elementary school that is asking this man about the owls and different questions. About middle ways through the video this owl gets up and picks this rabbit up that was in her nest that her mate had brought earlier and SWALLOWS the thing whole!! I've never seen anything like it in my life. If you have boys they will LOVE this! Aww, the joys of raising boys.......
Vanishing Rabbit!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beautiful....

2011-04-07T10:55:00.000-05:00

This is from Roy Lessin and I just had to share it because it's so beautiful!! hope everyone is enjoying their Spring. I sure am!!!!!!!!!

He’s your God in the sunshine,

He’s your God in the rain,

He’s your God in the laughter,

He’s your God in the pain.

He’s your God in the springtime,

He’s your God in the fall,

He’s your God in the silence,

He’s your God in the call.

He’s your God in the quiet,

He’s your God in the test,

He’s your God in the battle,

He’s your God in the rest.

He’s your God in the heat wave,

He’s your God in the chill,

He’s your God in the whirlwind,

He’s your God in the still.

In light time and dark time

In the valleys and peaks,

He’s the God who holds you,

He’s the God who keeps.

Also, please pray for my friend Michell. She is a very sick lady right now and needs all the prayers she can get. Also pray for her family because they are traveling back and forth to see her. Just pray for their peace, and safety and comfort that only God can give them!!

A Conversation with God for Women

2011-03-22T09:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sit and have a heart to heart with God? If you could ask God any question what would it be? This book lets you have an insight as to what that would be like. It's such an easy read and so thought provoking. All the answers to the questions the women ask are from God (backed up with scripture reference), Jesus, or from other women in the Bible. It really was hard to put down. Some of the questions that are asked in the book are:

Why don't you prevent disasters from happening?
God, do you really forgive and forget?
How can some unbelievers be so good?
What's up with the teaching on submission?
Who is controlling our lives?---You or us?

This is just a few but there are several questions and plenty of insightful answers to these questions. I loved it and I'm sure that you would too. It's geared toward women, but my husband even liked it. Good conversation starters!! Did I mention that I love the "Springy" cover!! I'm on a Spring kick and I'm loving this Spring weather!!!!!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Spring is coming.....

2011-03-10T20:09:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I've blogged and I keep putting it off. I started this entry three days ago and I never do that. My sweet sista Katie told me tonight that she was having blog withdrawls and I had almost forgotten this entry that I had started and needed to finish. It seems everytime I praise God or am writing of how I'm growing spiritually or what's happening in my family on a spiritual note, something always happens to me that tests if I mean what I'm writing. Test or trial or not, I mean it. I haven't arrived by any means, but I thank God that He is shaping me and making me into the woman He desires me to be. That shaping can get pretty rough at times but He's never left my side. He's the potter and we're the clay but honestly I feel like a dried out clump on many occasions but He always manages to work me into what He wants me to be. The process is painful at times but when it's all said and done ,through hyndsite, I see it.

I don't know about you all but this has been a terrible Winter and one of the longest yet for me and my family. I tease my husband every year and tell him our song is Merle Haggard's "If We Make it Through December". I joke, but all joking aside that song title seemed pretty real to me this Winter. I feel like from around October through the end of January and first of February I have been battling and struggling just to get through everyday. I have not only experienced a physical Winter, but a spiritual Winter as well. I'm going to compare the two so you get an idea of what I'm talking about. I did a little(very little...lots of emphasis here so if you are a seasonal officiant please do not freak out) research on Wikipedia for my Winter facts. The highlighted parts are my 2 cents on that fact.

They are:

Meteorological winter is the season having the shortest days and the lowest average temperatures, which have the coldest weather. (for the days to be shorter how in the world did it seem to last so long??)
Nighttime predominates the winter season ( great...more lack of sunlight which just added to my depression and gloom and doom)
Astronomically, the winter solstice, being the day of the year which has fewest hours of daylight, ought to be the middle of the season, but seasonal lag means that the coldest period normally follows the solstice by a few weeks. (cold, need I say more?)
Migration is a common effect of winter upon animals, notably birds. (don't blame them. Should we take that as a sign to head south ourselves??)
Hibernation is a state of reduced metabolic activity during the winter. Some animals "sleep" during winter and only come out when the warm weather returns; e.g., gophers, frogs, snakes, and bats. (yeah my metabolic activity has not only reduced but I think it died.....yeah i'm sure it died)
Some animals store food for the winter and live on it instead of hibernating completely. (stored food and lived off of it alright, see the previous fact's comment)
Some fur-coated mammals grow a heavier coat during the winter; this improves the heat-retention qualities of the fur. The coat is then shed following the winter season to allow better cooling. ( Yeah that's it I was working on my heat retention...)
Some annual plants never survive the winter. Other annual plants require winter cold to complete their life cycle, this is known as vernalization. (this I'll elaborate on below...not enough room here but very interesting point!!)
Humans are sensitive to cold, see hypothermia. Snow blindness, norovirus, seasonal depression, slipping on black ice and falling icicles are other health concerns associated with cold and snowy weather. (how exciting!!!!!)
Some use winter to suggest death, as in Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening". Some use it to suggest the absence of hope, as in C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, where it was always winter but never Christmas. Winter is one concerto in Antonio Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons," and there are many examples of four paintings all showing the same scene in different seasons. (yes, death is a great synonym for Winter)

So you get the idea. Winter isn't exactly full of great and wonderful times for at least me and my family. There is something I want you to look at with me for a second. Fact number 8.

8. Some annual plants never survive the winter. Other annual plants require winter cold to complete their life cycle....

To me I'm seeing a couple of different kinds of outcomes for our spiritual seasons. Those that do not survive their Winters and those that require it to complete their life cycles. This is pretty profound stuff. Think of a fruit tree. Could a fruit tree bear fruit if it only went through one season continually? Isn't there purpose in Spring for a tree, and purpose in the Summer, and purpose in the Fall, and purpose in the Winter? Let's look at an apple tree:

An apple tree will start bearing fruit 8-10 years after it is planted. A dwarf tree starts bearing in 3-6 years.
Some apple trees will grow over 40 feet high and live over 100 years.
Most apples can be grown farther north than most other fruits, because they blossom late in spring, minimizing frost damage.
It takes the energy from 50 leaves to produce one apple.
Apple trees are one of the longest living fruit trees.
Most apples are still picked by hand in the fall.

For me ,spiritually speaking, my Spring wouldn't have been near as SWEEThad the Winter not been so dark and bleak. If we lived in a constant state of Spring would we not get dull with it after a certain amount of time? Would we notice the fresh green sprigs of grass and just how green they really were? Would blossoms on a tree be as significant if we passed them everyday? Would we grow tired of the same fragrance of a daffodil if we smelled them everyday? Here are some of my favorite verses in all the Bible and it pertains to just what I am talking about:

Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Here's to finding the purpose in ALL of our seasons AND learning lessons from each one.

(For now ,though, I'm just going to try and drink in this Spring that's approaching and bask in the newness of all the new life around me physically and spiritually!)

Voices of the Faithful Book 2

2011-01-30T15:30:00.000-06:00

The Voices of the Faithful Book 2 Devotions for everyday of the year is a truely inspiring book. It's written as a day by day devotional read and in my opinion is a great bathroom fixture. (You know the books you have in your bathroom? This is a good one) One of my favorite things about church and being around other believers is hearing their testimony. I love hearing about what God is doing in the lives of people. That's what this book is full of. Inspiring stories of how God is working in and impacting the lives of missionaries and Christians all over the world. In each month there is a different topic for example January's topic is "Prayer, the Priority" February's is "God, Our Loving Father". Another great thing about this book is the oppurtunity to look inside the lives of Missionaries on their journey's all over the world. You get a bird's eye view of some of what they go through. I may never know what it's like to live as a missionary. The thing is that we are all called to the mission work of Jesus if we are saved. He has chosen us and called us to fulfill His purpose in our lives and the lives of others we are apart of. There is not a Christian in this world that isn't to be working for Christ and sharing the gospel. You are not only to be a witness for Jesus but our lives are to be a witness for Jesus. I'm not very Jesus like at times, what about you? I fail at this probably more times than not and I have to do better. We still have to strive to do better and be what God has called us to be. Through Him it is all possible. Just read this book and see a few of the examples God has turned the impossible to possible.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

21 Things to do With Your Kids on a Snow Day

2011-01-28T21:33:00.000-06:00

This post is from a recent speech I had to write using the basis "21 things to do with your....".
We've had a slew of snow here so that inspired my topic and title of my speech called "21 Things to do With Your Kids on a Snow Day. I really enjoyed writing this and hope you all enjoy it too. If you have kids you're sure to get a kick out of it!

21 Things to do With Your Kids on a Snow Day

Snow days bring the challenge of finding activities for your children. This can especially be true of numerous snow days in a row. I’ve compiled a list, of sorts, for a typical snow day at my house. With three young boys ages 6, 7, 10 and a 14 year old daughter I never run out of things to do on a snow day.

The most obvious thing to do on a snow day is to play in the snow. That doesn’t sound too complicated. Just gather a couple hundred gloves, hats, extra layers of clothes, boots, and coats and pass out to each child according to size. Teenage girls may not be too quick to come out of their warm surroundings to spend quality time with their younger brothers on a snow day. Texting is too complicated in a snowball fight and heaven forbid what the snow might do to one’s hair! When the last layer of clothes is soaked through to the skin and our lips are blue it’s time to come back inside. The two loads of snow soaked laundry now can be washed while waiting on the snow-soaked freshly mopped floor to dry. This completes items 1, 2, 3 & 4 of our 21 things to do on a snow day.

After all that cold they’re going to need something to warm their selves up with! Nothing does that better than hot chocolate! Now this will get the teenager out of their room guaranteed. She’s 14 and it’s chocolate, need I say more? After everyone enjoys the last drop of hot chocolate you’ll realize that 5 empty cups and the dishes leftover from breakfast are quickly piling high. Since the teenager has graced you with her presence, it is now time to enforce her chore of doing the dishes. There will be whining to ensue directly after this takes place.

The 6th thing you can do on a snow day is a favorite of my boys. You make bird feeders out of pinecones (or pinecorns if you ask my 6 year old) and roll them in peanut butter and then in bird seed and hang them in trees outside. All will go well until the smell of the peanut butter (despite it being covered in bird seed) will overtake the 6 year old and he’ll have to eat it.

Now comes number 7 on our list. Hop on the internet and research information on our birdseed to ensure that it will not be harmful to a child’s digestive system. We were in luck! It was just going to be some extra fiber in his diet and that never hurt anyone.

Now it’s on to number 8. After all that birdseed rolled around on the table, floor and chairs it is apparent that it was quite a messy little craft. Mom gets to get the vacuum out and suck all the miniscule bits of crumbs and seeds off all the kitchen surfaces. This is quicker than sweeping because sweeping little balls of bird seed turns into a game of tag pretty quickly.

Number 10 on our list is a favorite of mine; Popcorn and a movie with blankets and pillows in the living room. It’s amazing how quickly kids can dismantle their beds for a blanket and pillow when we do this. While the kids are getting their nests made in the living room, Mom is in the kitchen popping popcorn and filling 4 individual bowls full. It’s almost necessary to count one kernel at a time to ensure that everyone has the same amount. Heaven forbid someone get one more kernel than the other one. It would be devastating. The kids will go ahead and start their movie without you but don’t worry, counting all that popcorn will fly by before you know it. After each kernel is accounted for and all bowls are distributed, it’s time for Mom to collapse in the recliner and enjoy this movie and break from running around!

Before mom even gets her seat warm and all the popcorn is consumed the kids decide ¼ of the way through the movie to move on to number 11 on our list which is video games. Wouldn’t you have guessed that all blankets and pillows are still in the living room along with bowls and unpopped kernels scattered across the floor. Good thing we left the vacuum out from cleaning up the bird seed because we’re going to need it again for our number 12 which will be cleaning up the living room! Blankets and pillows that were picked up will attribute to number 13 on our list followed by number 14 of making the beds again. Numbers 15, 16, 17 all involve fixing lunch and cleaning up lunch’s mess and the kitchen yet one more time.

Stomachs that are full are happy stomachs until someone starts arguing over number 18 on our list which is playing a board game. Someone is a cheater and someone is a poor loser and someone just wants to be the ruling tyrant of all board games and make their own rules as they play. This causes the sleeping teenager to scream from her slumber and yell harshly at her brothers.

After an entire day spent together it’s apparent that everyone needs to be split up into their own rooms and space for an extended period of time which is our 19th item of the day. I like to refer to this time as “Individual” time and each child can pick an activity to do alone such as reading, coloring, playing toys or whatever item they choose to do. They’ll get settled down and after being apart for so long they’ll convince you they are ready to behave and be back in the company of their brothers. Wrestling will ensue shortly after this time spent alone to make up for any lost time while they were in solitary confinement.

Before you know it Dad is home from work. Number 20 on our list is suppertime which is a favorite of my family. It’s about the only time we all get to sit together and find out what each person has done for that day. Dad is sure to be overwhelmed at all the activities that have happened during the course of the day and will likely make comments such as, “I can’t hear everyone talking at one time” or “ I’m trying to talk to your mother” or “ What’s going off in here?” or “Allison have you been in your room all day?” or “Well hello D, the dog hasn’t got a lick of water” or “Why is every light in this house on?” or “I just took the garbage out. I think I’m going to get an industrial dumpster from Scotty’s and sit it at the end of the driveway” or “Have they been like this all day?” just to name a few.

Number 21 is a grouped event that involves watching some television while each child takes turns getting their baths. Boys are really something. You have to be very thorough when telling a boy to go take a shower. If you don’t give a step by step list of what is to take place during his bathing time there are sure to be steps skipped altogether. In precise order you must say as follows; get your towel and washrag, go into the bathroom, undress, turn on the water in the shower, get in the shower and close the curtain, wet your hair and entire body, wash your entire body with soap making certain that your bottom is the LAST thing washed, rinse your entire body, wash your hair with shampoo and rinse your hair, turn off the water and open the shower curtain and step out to dry yourself off completely with your towel. If you leave any one part out it will not end well. Trust me.

The last step of this item number 21 is my favorite. Tucking my kids in bed and praying for them absolutely reminds me that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do. Despite any exhaustion or headache that may have resulted from a snow day I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Outlive Your Life- a review

2011-01-04T09:15:00.000-06:00

When is the last time you've reached out? When is the last time you visited someone in the hospital or nursing home? When is the last time you've given a thought to the hurting in our community? This book just floored me on how very LITTLE I am doing to reach our and help others in need. Aren't we as Christians called to extend a helping hand? Offer an embrace to the hurting? This book is an eye opener to doing just that. Here is an excerpt from Max Lucado's book Outlive Your Life:

I wonder if God creates people like Mother Teresa so he can prove his point: " See, you can do something today that will outlive your life."
There are several billion reasons to consider his challenge. Some of them live in your neighborhood; others live in jungles you can't find and have names you can't pronounce. Some of them play in cardboard slums or sell sex on a busy street. Some of them walk three hours for water or wait all day for a shot of penicillin. Some of them brought their woes on themselves, and others inherited the mess from their parents.
None of us can help everyone. But all of us can help someone. And when we help them, we serve Jesus.
Who would want to miss a chance to do that?

Why would we want to miss a chance to do that? We have so much that we seldom stop to think about those that have nothing. God help me to think of others. All Christians have an outreach and are called to the mission. God help us to live up to our calling.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

What does Thanksgiving mean to me? I've been pondering that since this Thursday is Thanksgiving. I need to reflect on all that I've got to be thankful for. I'm not sure how to do it other than just make a list. There's no way I can express ALL that I am thankful for but this is the jest of it anyhow. (These are not in particular order. It's just a lackadaisical list.)

First and foremost, my salvation. Without that how can we really be thankful of anything? The grace of God is something I will never understand but will always be eternally grateful for. When we begin to see ourselves in God's light a whole new world opens up to you.
My beautiful children. All four of them. I have to admit that the love that I have for Hayden and Gunner is different because I did carry them in my body, but I never knew the love of a step-child until I experienced it firsthand. What an opportunity I have to shape their lives and what a job God has entrusted me with. I believe it's the highest calling I have. I feel unworthy to do such a job and carry that responsibility but I know that through God I am more than able or He wouldn't have entrusted me to do it.
Jeffrey Lee. This man aggravates me more than I could ever tell you but my goodness do I love him more than I could ever tell you. He also loves me like no one ever has. It is so good to be loved for ME and it not be conditional. I'm thankful for Jeff and that he's crazy about me. Speaking of crazy, he also drives me crazy. I prayed for patience and God gave me a husband. Isn't that just like God? I think He does have a sense of humor.
My health and the health of my family. There are families that are spending their holiday in hospitals. I'm not one of them and for that I am thankful.
That I'm not mourning over the loss of a loved one this Thanksgiving. This will be the first Thanksgiving for several people without a beloved member of their family. God help them and comfort them.
I'm thankful that both of my parents are still living. I take this for granted so many times. I'm so blessed to have two wonderful parents that love me and are still here for me to spend my holidays with. Many do not.
I'm thankful that Thanksgiving isn't something that I dread but look forward to. There are many that will spend their Thanksgiving drunk or drugged to numb the pain of being with or not being with their family.
I'm thankful I'm sober and don't live in the hell of an alcoholic or drug addicts life.
I'm thankful that my belly is always full. I've gone through times where I was excited to get groceries from people when times were hard. I pray that I never lose sight of that and always remember what that feels like. It's my turn to give back now.
I'm thankful that I'm not in a place of need anymore. I'm in a position to give. I'm so thankful that I can give now and pray that God continues to let me do so.
I'm thankful for my home and all the dirt, laundry, and dishes in it. My family is blessed!

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Better than 20/20

2010-11-05T09:39:00.000-05:00

When is the last time you've looked at yourself the way God looks at you? Do you ever even think about how He views us? Look at any magazine on a store shelf and it won't take you long to see if you measure up to the world's standards of being beautiful or worthy. Maybe it's not anything a magazine has told you, but a family member, or someone you were in relationship with, or a teacher. We accept far many more lies than we do God's truth. Did you know that when we accept the lies of the world we are rejecting God's truth? I have come to a point in my life (all credit going to God for this) where I refuse to believe or buy into what the world would have me believe about who I am. My self worth no longer rests in this world or anyone in it. It has truly been a LONG journey to get here and to be honest I still have to remind myself daily of who HE says I am. I would much rather spend everyday trusting in what God says about me and resting in who HE says I am, than buying into the world's lies or anyone else's for that matter. I've got a couple of songs on this post that I want you to listen to. I mean really listen to the words.

Here's one of my new favorite songs! It's called "Beautiful" by MercyMe. I know that women of all ages will relate to this song. I especially can because of the past I've come from. I have spent so many nights believing lies that someone else has told me about who I am. I am so incredibly grateful that ,today, I can see myself the way God sees me. We were made for so much more than anything the world offers. I hope this song blesses each one that hears it, the way it has me.

I don't know how many of you have heard this song yet, but it is one of my new favorites! It's called "I am new" by Jason Gray. I feel like this guy has peeked inside my heart and wrote all of my innermost thoughts on how God views me. I need reminders ,way more often than not, about who I am NOW in Christ. Not who I was! How often do we choose to believe the LIES we tell ourselves and Satan tells us about how God sees us? I don't know about you but I'm tired of living in defeat. I'm tired of living to the worlds standards and being afraid of what the world thinks of me. I'm tired of believing and ACCEPTING lies. Listen to it here!!!!!!!!!

The date is today

2010-10-21T20:23:00.000-05:00

I've had something on my mind here lately and I know it's not going anywhere until I share it. Not because it's unknown but because it's a possibility that there is "someone ,somewhere" needing to hear my words. We are here to encourage and help one another and if it only helps or blesses one person then I've done my job. My very first blog entry on here promises to talk about domestic violence at a later date. The date is today. October 21, 2010. Looking back now it's almost like I just dreamed it all. It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. I didn't think it would hurt so much still, but as I'm sitting here typing the tears are flowing. Partly because I'm grateful that God delivered me out of that "hell" on earth, and partly because of how truly broken I had become. The only place to start is at the beginning so please bare with me. This might be longer than usual but it's necessary to tell the full story. Please understand that this is about domestic violence. There is also drug abuse involved as well. This is not a post for children. Please be considerate of others and respect these warnings that i'm giving. I'm also not looking for judgement from anyone. I have one judge and I've yet to stand before him and answer for my sins and failures, but I will. So will you. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future!

The father of my children was my high school sweetheart. We were inseparable. You can ask anyone that went to school with us and they would tell you that we were together ALL the time. Not just at school either. We started dating my sophomore year and his freshman year. I lived with my Dad and step-mom and they let him stay the night with us on a pretty regular basis after about a year of dating. He was family. My little brother adopted him as "big brother" very quick and he just "fit". (I will be the first to admit that him moving in was very dysfunctional and shouldn't have happened but it's in the past and can't be changed. I can't imagine letting my kids do that, but I wasn't raised in a Christian home. I'm hoping to learn from my parents mistakes. Yes, I know I'll make plenty of my own and I already have. Trust me.) When I graduated high school he still had one more year of high school left. I was moving to my Mom's in a different county and he decided we should see other people just to make sure that we really were meant to be together. I was crushed. I cryed for weeks. I had my life with him planned out for the next 70 years or so. My world fell apart, or so I thought. I started college and completed 2 semesters when he began to call me again. We were back together after almost a year of being apart. I had been taking care of myself and walked 3-5 times a week and had lost some weight and was feeling better than ever about myself. I knew that things were going to be different this time. He had lost weight too and a little too much in my opinion but I didn't think too much about it. Our life together at that point was crazy at best. It didn't take me long to see that he had began drinking and soon after that discovery was made I made another. He was on drugs. I was devastated but alot of things began to add up for me. Maybe that was where the weight loss had come from. That was what was "different" that I couldn't put my finger on.

I started missing class. I had to take care of him and make sure that he stayed away from this stuff. I missed so much school I dropped out. My dreams of college went swirling down the drain and I didn't even care. The only thing I could think about was making it all better. Making him the way he used to be in high school. I had to move from my friends upstairs loft and I didn't have a clue where I was going to go. I had to be close to him to monitor him and make sure I was there for him and helped him get over his problem.

Let me just stop right here and tell you that my thought pattern was toxic. I honestly thought I could control him and his drug use and make him different. Friends if you are struggling with changing someone let me say that you CAN'T. There's no amount of "being there", or "keeping an eye on things" that you can do.  This is especially true of an addict. You can want for that person or harp on that person until you run ot of oxygen, but in the end it does not work. Their sobriety is their responsibility. Not yours. Trust me when I tell you that I did not learn this while I was with him. It has taken a long lengthy road for me to have learned the lessons I have. I'm still learning. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees and let me tell you: there were an awful lot of trees! Let's pick back up where we left off.

So, I had dropped out of school and was looking for a place to stay. He wanted me to move in with him at his grandfather. So, that's what I did. "What an awesome thing," I thought. "I'll really be able to make a difference now. Look out Cleavers, cause I'm going to change this boy and you all won't have nothing on us!!"   My dreams were coming true!!!!

Little did I know that my nightmares were just beginning.

He left for work one morning and I got up and started cleaning house. I'll never forget the day as long as I live. I went in the bathroom and dumped the bathroom garbage can into a big bag and wads of foil with burnt lines were falling out in the floor. I had no idea what I had stumbled upon. It didn't take me long to find out. Methamphetamine. I knew he had abused pot and I knew about the prescription drug abuse but I did NOT know about this. I'm not making the other two any less of a deal mind you, but I just never in my wildest dreams forseen this coming. I was so crushed. I left. I wrote a lengthy note and left. To make a long story short he finally admitted that he had "tryed" it and wouldn't do it again and didn't want to lose me. He wanted us to have a good life and that was just not something that he wanted in his life. Good thing, I thought. Because guess what?

I was pregnant.

During my pregnancy with my oldest child I left him and returned back about 5 times. I would find evidence of drug use, or get tired of his mood swings and then I'd write a note and leave again. The mood swings were the start of things to come. It started with putting me down. Telling me that no one would ever want me or love me. Telling me that I was of no use to him. That he would get custody of our baby and I would never see it. One of the most frightening times was when our son was just about 3 months old. Up until then he had "played" dad pretty good. My mom had my son for the night and we were going out with friends. I had got in the car with him after leaving our friends house and for no reason at all, he grabbed my arm and floored the gas and told me that he was going to kill us both. The road we were on was a very curvy country road and I was crying and screaming as loud as I could and he just kept on. By the Grace of God and only by the Grace of God we made it home. (But I didn't realize that then.) I was so scared and by the time we got home he acted like it had never happened. The next time it happened my son was about 15 months old and i found out I was pregnant with our second child. We moved from place to place. He would seem like he was doing good for a while and then come home and lash out or pass out and it would start all over again. My second pregnancy was miserable. The whole time I had morning sickness he accused me of faking it. He said I wasn't really sick and I needed to get up and quit acting so sick. When I was three months pregnant he came home form work and pushed me into our kitchen cabinets and held a knive to my throat and told me he was sick of me. I prayed. It's all i could do. He held my 15 month old in his lap and was telling him "Hayden tell mommy she's a b****." I'll never forget the look in my baby's eyes. He was scared and very quiet. Not too long afterward he told me he was going to take Hayden and run his work truck in a ditch because if he couldn't have him then I couldn't either." I was able to get in my room and call "911". The cops made it and let me and Hayden leave. He of course acted like nothing had happened. I showed up at my dad's with my maternity pants ripped in the back pockets from the cabinets they had hung on. I wasn't going to tell them how bad it had actually been but Dad seen my pants and wanted to know what happened. I still didn't tell him everything. There's alot that I haven't told and things i'm just now talking about and it's been 5 years ago and longer. During that pregnancy I left inumerable times and ran to my dads or my moms, but always back again to him who had promised to change. I believed it everytime he said it. Just like it was the first time. Things got worse before they got better. The last time he hit me I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest. I had a patch of hair missing from my head, a bruise on the side of my stomach where he had kicked me onto a metal toy truck and a bruise above my eyelid. The bruises healed. The emotional scars are still healing. I went through counseling and my oldest son did as well. I'm still processing it all. now I process it through God. I give it to God when it begins to bear down on my mind. When those lies resurface that I was fed, they go straight the the Author of Truth. I now see myself as God sees me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a princess. He knows all aspects of my broken life and still accepts me with open loving arms. I can't count the thoughts he thinks about me. Neither can you. I do not condone in any way shape or form staying in an abusive relationship. I wish I'd left the one I was in sooner. It didn't matter how bad others wanted me to. I had to get to a point myself where I was done. It took too long. I do think that Gos took my bad and still used it for His good. If I hadn't had kids Jeff and I probably wouldn't have met since daycare is where we first saw each other. Jeff's first marriage was one where his wife ran out on him and his kids becuase of drug abuse. Who better to understand me and my past? We fit. We still do.  Three months after we started dating I got saved. My life has been nothing but blessed very since. Jeff and I neither one are perfect, but we serve the One who is. Just yesterday, he got me flowers for no reason and wrote a love note and layed them on our doorstep without me knowing it. He text me later and told me to look outside. I found them and was so excited I text everyone a picture of them and told them what he had done. I told my dad that I was sure glad to tell him good things instead of showing up at his house a crying broken mess. I told him it was good to be loved. His reply was, "And you don't know how happy that makes me." It made me cry and it also started the inspiration for this post. I got to thinking about what a hell I lived in and how God had delivered me from it into a stable loving home with someone that really loves me. Jeff and I have our disagreements. Trust me.  How can any married couple not? Two people living together and sharing their lives together in Jesus' name is going to bring conflict and trouble. We are imperfect enough and Satan would love nothing more than to destroy what God makes. But through God we can overcome whatever life throws us. We've been through a lot of different things in 4 years. I know 4 years isn't long but it has been an action packed 4 years combining two families and juggling life. But it's worked. I'm so grateful it works. Through Him, it just does.

The Grace of God- A review

2010-10-21T18:33:00.000-05:00

Here's another great book review for you but let me tell you: This book rocked my world and my "little" thoughts on grace. First off, I can tell you that without the grace of God, we are all in a worst than bad condition. And I also am aware of my own neediness of grace. The name of my blog pretty much sums up my neediness for grace. There's a catch though. There's no 12 step program I can follow to rid my problem. The only solution to my grace-aholic problem is only more grace.
Andy Stanley, who is the son of Pastor Charles Stanley, takes you on an amazing journey from before time up unto now at just how God has shed His grace on us. It's a very easy read and I had a very hard time putting it down once I started. He has a real way of making you understand things so clearly and in a light you've never seen before. I am so glad that this book entered my life. I think it would also be great used as a Bible study for Sunday school lessons or small groups. I though I knew quite a bit about the Grace of God until I finished this book. Please trust me when I say that this book is for EVERYONE!! It's really a great book. I've been super blessed by it and so has my husband!! Grace ,after all, is what Christianity is based on. Take God's grace out of it and you've taken Jesus out. He was God's grace in flesh. The very embodiment of the Grace of God. I really can't say enough good things about this book. I promise when you are finished with it you will see God's grace in a whole new light. I did!

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Great gift Book!!

2010-10-13T16:52:00.001-05:00

OK, so I am a member of this great book review club called Book Sneeze. I decided I would give it a try and see what it was all bout and I just love it. If you love to read, then you just might love them as well!
My first Book I have up for review is called, " The Treasure of God's Word". It's a great gift book that is absolutely beautiful by the way. That's the first thing that caught my attention about the book was how gorgeous it is. It's leather and would be such a nice gift for anyone! It has scripture throughout the book according to topic such as God's Grace, God's kindness, etc. In between each topic is a section containing facts and information on how the King James Version of the Bible came to be. I really learned alot that I didn't know and think it's really neat.

Hope you are all doing well! I've been busy as a bee since school has started and I started working today as well. I'm so blessed and undeserving, but I'll take it anyhow. Thank you Lord for your Grace!!

Randomness

2010-10-05T21:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not writing much tonight. I've been super busy since I've started school, but it's a good busy. It's been great so far. My head may blow up with knowledge before it's all said and done! I came across this poem today from my "Facts of the Matter" devotion I get and thought it was grand!! I hope you guys like it too!

"When God wants to drill a man:

And thrill a man:

And skill a man:

When God wants to mold a man

To play the noblest part;

When He yearns with all His heart

To create so great and bold a man

That all the world shall be amazed:

Watch His methods, watch His ways!

How He ruthlessly perfects

Whom He royally elects!

How He hammers him and hurts him,

And with mighty blows converts him

Into trial shapes of clay which

Only God understands;

While his tortured heart is crying

And he lifts beseeching hands!

How He bends but never breaks

When his good He undertakes;

How He uses whom He chooses:

And with every purpose fuses him;

But every act induces him

To try His splendor out —

God knows what He's about!" (Author Unknown)

—Facts of the Matter

Presents!! I LOVE Presents!!!!

2010-09-27T17:16:00.000-05:00

It's my Birthday!!!!!!!! I'm officially 27! WOW! It has been such a great day. There are things I've been asking for and praying for for a few years and today they have come together for me! I can't even explain how excited I am. I started back to college today after a lengthy break that I have regretted since I quit. And the job I had been holding out for came open but just not full time, which is not what I need since I'm in school now. I needed a part time job and the Lord gave it to me! Not just any part time job either. It's the part time job I've been trying to get at the elementary school where my kids attend for the last 2 years. I had been trying for full time, but since it never panned out for me I started thinking about returning to school. So I prayed about it and asked God that if it was His will He would open the doors.

So...... God opened the door for me to go to school.

As if that wasn't great enough the first day of my fall term started today; September 27, 2010 my 27th birthday! Than, when I went to pick the kids up from school I got the official word that I had my job at their school and would work on days that I'm out of school. God is soooo good!!!!!! What awesome gifts that He gave me! I am on cloud twenty seven. Cloud nine is just not high enough for me! His timing truly is perfect. It's not easy waiting on it sometimes, but it worked out the way it was supposed to work.

Jeff and I also have been having some trouble, but I feel like today is the start of a renewing in that area too. Did anyone just drop their jaw? What?? Do you know a marriage that has NO problems.

God knows my needs. I am confident that I am going to succeed regardless of my situation or circumstances. The Lord has promised me that He is with me and He is not going to fail me. I have to keep on keeping on!

Letting go and letting God

2010-09-16T18:03:00.000-05:00

This entry is probably going to be all over the place because I feel all over the place! Been there? I'm there. It's a crazy overwhelming feeling and I don't like it. I've been thinking about how truly great forgiveness is. God forgives us our sins when we ask Him to and he reminds us no more. To be reminded no more of our sin from a Holy and Just God is almost too much to wrap this mind around.

And what about Grace that is sufficient for this day? Everyday God allots us the perfect amount of grace He knows we're going to need for the day. Not too much and not too little. Just the precise amount. Wow! What else would we expect from the author of the Universe? Yet, I am surprised by it.

Here's another item on this disorganized brain of mine: CONTROL. We don't have it.

God has it. We can influence others and even teach and direct but as far as having control; we don't. Our children are being leaded and guided and directed by me and Jeff, but ultimately we are not in control of them or their lives. We're not even in control of our own lives. As hard as it is for me to stomach the thought of, the reality is that I won't always be there when my kids are going through things. I can't keep them from pain and hurt and suffering. This is hard to accept. This is where trust comes in. Trusting that I have done my best in raising them and that I have showed them right from wrong and leave them in God's hands. They're going to fail sometimes but that's necessary for growth. We are all designed to fail apart from God. Wrap that one around your mind and see if you don't get dizzy. When we leave God out of our decisions and choices we're actually saying to Him, " I've got this one Lord! I'll handle this my way and you go back to gravity and planetary line up or answering prayers! Thanks though!" That's pride. Pride is UGLY. (U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi, you ugly! Yeah ,yeah you ugly!) Get it?! It's UGLY!! When we question God and ask Him, "Why did this happen to me Lord? Why did I have to go through this in my life Lord?" we don't always get an answer. Sometimes it's because of bad choices we make and the result of sin in our lives. Somethings happen in our lives simply for the reason to bring Glory to God. We may not see how it could, but in His timing He works that out. See John 9 and you can read about the man that was blind from birth and the disciples questioned God about whose sin caused this man to be blinded from birth. Jesus told them that it wasn't his sin, or his parents sin that had caused the blindness, but through his blindness Jesus was going to do the works of God through the blind man and many would see God's power through the healing of the blind man. God has done that for me. I wasn't literally blind, but since Christ came into my life I am different. I am transformed not because of my works but ALL because of God's. God is able. I don't have answers to all the things that have happened in my life that I have no control over. I know some things were my fault and I brought the sin and pain to myself. Some things simply came my way. Not because I had done wrong but because God had a plan to use it in my life. I'm seeing more everyday that come to pass. I'm more able to talk about things that used to paralyze me with fear and shame. God is using my bad and turning it into something useful for Him. I don't have all the answers and I'm not meant to. I told Jeff earlier this week that when I stand before God some day, I don't want to hear Him say, "Jennifer I had so many things I wanted to bless you with and do for you but you wouldn't go forward for me. You wanted to live in past hurt and pain instead of fully giving it to me. You wanted to take care of things yourself and be in control of everything instead of letting me have the control." How tragic that would be.

Submission to God is what it comes down to.

God already has control over all of our lives whether we're ready to admit that or not. The question then is, " Are we ready to submit ourselves to Him?"

What if every balloon represented someone that was submitting themselves fully to God?

Photo courtesy of PhotoBucket

Precious Memories are not the only ones that linger!

2010-09-01T11:56:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I posted a blog entry about Praising God in the here and now, whatever that might mean for each of us. Wouldn't you know that after being on that high of getting back on track and praising the Lord, a trial came my way. Actually a memory. A memory that has haunted me for some time and I had put away into the depths of myself to remember no more.

It didn't work.

The last few days have been some of the hardest for me and yet some of the most enlightening. I have been carrying a spirit of rejection. I have been believing Satan's lies and since I've been believing him I've been rejecting God's truth. Jeff and I had a confession day on Monday. I can't begin to tell you how it even started but it happened. All the things I've suppressed and put away over the years ,afraid of what others would think or what he would think, came out like a flood. Some of you may think I'm crazy and that's OK because it's probably not the first time and probably won't be the last either.

We aired our dirty laundry.

We've been together 4 years and I honestly felt like unless he knew me and all of me that we would never move forward where God wants us to be. I know that God is going to do something great in our marriage and our life. Some have said " The past is in the past. Leave it there". Yes, the past is the past. I do agree and I do NOT believe that dwelling on it will profit anyone. It's like the saying that says," You don't drive your car by looking in the rear view mirror. You look through the windshield". I'm not saying dig up your past and relive it everyday. That's not healthy. I am saying this: If you are suppressing something that has haunted you, or you have done something that you just can't get past and it's affecting your relationships, then friend it's time to air it out!

Is it easy?

Not at all. Satan convinced me that if I told Jeff, he wouldn't love me anymore and wouldn't want to be with me or think the same of me. I accepted Satan's lies that were telling me that I was of no worth and if I told anyone ,especially Jeff, I would ruin everything. I came from a relationship before Jeff that was destructive. I can't begin to tell you how broken I was in spirit and body. I heard negativity on a daily basis and how worthless I was and how I would NEVER be loved or accepted for myself. It is only now that I can even begin to talk about it and it's not without pain either. It hurts. I was living in and believing a lie. I really hope that there is a time in my life that I can help someone else who is standing in the shoes I was once in. I want God to take what the devil meant for failure and tragedy and turn it into a testimony and hope for someone else. This blog is a start. My heart's desire is to be in the Will of God. I haven't arrived and I know I'm not perfect or lived a perfect life, but I don't have to be. Grace will get me through. Grace is the only way. When I do all I can, then God does the rest. But I HAVE to do my part! Of all the ways I had planned for Jeff to react, his response was not even close to one I had thought of or imagined. His response was GRACE, LOVE, and EMBRACING me and letting me get it all out. It was almost more than I could bare. It hurt him deeply, but by the grace of God this is a stepping stone for us. He didn't reject me, or hate me, or leave me or belittle me. It impressed on his heart to open up to me fully as well. We had confession with one another. I had taken my thoughts and memories to God and confessed them, but there was something so liberating confessing them to Jeff as well. I have nothing to fear. He knows me better than anyone. We have a bond that nothing can break. Isn't that what a marriage is meant to be? Complete transparency and vulnerability? I can't tell you when I've been so vulnerable. I'm so thankful for my husband. Has he struggled with it? Yeah, he has. So have I, but I know God is going to use it for good. I don't feel like I've fully been able to worship at church or reach the full potential God has for me all because of suppressing terrible memories and believing Satan's lies. A spirit of rejection is so heavy and too much for any person to carry. If you're carrying a spirit of rejection, give it to God. I wished that everyone had a supportive spouse that they could open up to and talk with. If there is something from your past that you have locked away that is destroying you from the inside out, then get it out. I know it's easier said than done. Trust me, I know. It's not like I went to bed Sunday night and said, " Well tomorrow is the day I'm going to release this memory that is holding me in bondage." It just happened. I honestly believe in my heart of hearts that was the day it was supposed to come out.
God has a plan for us.

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Well Praise the Lord!

2010-08-26T10:39:00.003-05:00

When is the last time you have stood up at church and testified of what God has done for you? When is the last time you have testified to a friend or to anyone of what God has done for you? Or, have you ever gave a testimony? The first time I ever did I was shaking and nervous but there was no way God was letting me out of there until I did! I'll start by telling you that I can't remember the last time I stood in church and told of what God was doing in my life or had done for me. It's been a while. I'll go one step further and admit that while I've heard others giving their testimonies or praise reports, my mind has wondered off to my to do list for the evening, or where I'm going to eat after church. God forgive me! Why is it hard to just simply praise His name, or share with someone else what God has done for us? Why are we so fearful of what others think, or what they'll say? Why do we care if we don't have the perfect words or afraid that if we try to get them out we may cry and not be able to get all the words out? Or even worse, why can we not even bring to memory one thing God has done for us that would even be worthy to tell? I recently received a challenge from Extravagant Grace. It's a 31 day commitment to intentionally give thanks and PRAISE the Lord in THIS moment.

You may be asking yourself, "You mean THIS moment?"

It doesn't matter what you're dealing with or how bleak the trial seems, I'm talking about THIS! Whatever your "THIS" may be. 31 days is enough time to make a habit out of "Praising the Lord". I'm going to see every person I encounter and every situation I face as being directly from God to help shape me into the person He wants me to be. Even if it's not a pleasant situation. I have trials in my life. To praise Him in the midst of them may not be easy and some may think me crazy, but guess what? PRAISE THE LORD for them! It feels good to praise His name. I feel better already! I have a feeling that no matter what I encounter or deal with if I can just commit to praising Him for it, He will bring me peace and He'll get me through! It's a shame we let the world and it's problems steal our praise and our joy, when God is waiting for us to just acknowledge Him and praise His name!

I have a story to tell you about this very thing. I remember going to church with my Nanny when I was a kid. I dreaded it because EVERY time we went she had to stand up and testify! It embarrassed me and I crouched down in my seat every time. She said about the same thing every time but always had something new to tell along with it. Can I even begin to tell you how those memories of praise and testimony from her have impacted my life now as a Christian woman? I miss it. What I wouldn't give to hear one of those testimonies right now. I'm so thankful for all the testimonies and praise I heard from that woman. Was she perfect? Not at all. Did she better my life and help shape me into the person I am? You better believe it! Those memories are precious to me and I'm thankful for them and want to Praise the Lord for my cherished memories!!

See there Praise is contagious, I'm already doing it again!

I want my children to hear their mother Praising the Lord. I want my children to remember me praying with them. I don't want to be afraid of not saying something just right, or worried about what someone may think of me. I don't want to hide what God's done for me or hide something He's shown me. As Christians, if we can't tell what God has done for us, then what can we tell?

2010-08-17T20:04:00.005-05:00

Well, I'm struggling with an issue that just shouldn't be an issue. I've fought it before but I'm beginning to see it in a different way this time.

Does that even make sense?

Well I say it shouldn't be but it's in the Bible so I'm wrong on that one. I'll try and explain if I can. Read the story in Luke 15:11-32. It's the parable of the lost son. I'll just post the link here for ease of access even though most of us have heard it before and are familiar with it.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke15:11-32&v=KJVersion

In the story the son demands his inheritance before it was due to him. The father not only gave him his part of the inheritance but his brother's portion to him as well. The younger son took all he had and went to a strange far off land and wasted his inheritance. The land that he ran to had a huge famine that ravaged the land. He became as one of the citizens of that town and the man he was traveling with sent him to feed the swine in his field. He ended up eating the husks from the corn that he was feeding the pigs. As this happened he came to his senses realizing his father's house had more than enough to eat ,and even if his father would give him the lowest job possible he had to return and ask for forgiveness.

(I have to go off from the story for a bit and ask a question. Have you been there? That place where your face deep in corn husks and pig dung and you come to your senses remembering all that your Father has and how well you had it when you listened to Him? Man I have been there! )

The story ends happy with the father watching for him and running and embracing him when he returned home. He gave his son the best clothes and jewelry to wear and had a party celebrating his return. They killed the fattest calf and had a grand time. This was a huge deal. I want to talk about the other brother though. The older brother, who like his younger brother, got his inheritance early as well. He kept his and used it wisely and didn't go into some land and blow it all on filthy living. As a matter of fact when this big celebration was happening he came in from the fields he had been WORKING and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Once he found out he was angry. I mean, here this man is who has saved his money wisely and not blew it all away on junk or empty living, and he's been working hard this whole time out in the fields and continuing life as normal while little brother has been having an all out PARTY and road trip. Are you kidding me? If I was big brother I would go slick off the handle!!!

So he goes to his father.

He tells his father that he has been ever faithful to him and worked for him many years and never sinned against him, but yet his dad never killed a fatted calf for him and his friends! His Dad's response is shocking to me. He says, "Son you're always with me and all that I have is yours. It was only fitting that we have this celebration because your brother was dead, but now is alive. He was lost and now he is found." The Bible doesn't record the older brother's response to that. I think I know why now.

He got it.

He figured it out. There was nothing else to be said. Don't you think that younger brother had to pay for his living wildly and blowing his inheritance? Don't you think at some point and time he had to face the music and reap what he had sown?

Man I have had to, but this week I've been the older brother asking my father "why?" I can't get my mind around this subject this week. I've fought this before and I'm tired of it.

But guys I got my answer.....

I got it.

I figured it out. There's nothing else left to be said. I went to my Father and He told me I was His and all that He had was mine. Yeah there may have been a celebration on the other brother's returning, but parties don't last forever. You gotta face the music sometime. My bitterness has to leave and I have to soak in the Truth of God's Word. Knowing I am His and that all He has is mine. I'm getting blessed with innumerable blessings that "my other brother" bypassed for riotous living and wasting an inheritance. God help me to see it. I am overwhelmed at how God works. I'm 12 years younger than my husband. God chose me, a mother of 2, to raise a family of 4. It's mind boggling that it even works!

But it does.

I have learned on more than one occasion that My Heavenly Father knows far better than I. And I don't have to understand it all or His reasons for it all. All I have to do is trust.

Trust that God has my best interest at heart.
Trust that I was His all along and all that He has is mine.
Trust that He knows best.
Trust that vengeance is NOT my job!
Trust Him in all that I do.

Tonight I have great peace and rest just trusting Him. Thank you Lord for all that you've blessed me with. Take all bitterness away and fill me with peace. Remind me Lord that I've been in the husks and dung myself before returning to You. In Jesus' Name...........Amen!

This just in.............

2010-07-31T10:33:00.008-05:00

It's been another long while since my last entry and as long as the kids are out of school, I'm afraid that's just the way it's going to be. A lot has happened since last time so I think this entry will just be a fill-you-in kind of thing with what's going on with me and the family. Which could get lengthy, but we'll see! Grab a snack or a drink just in case;)

I have enrolled to start school again this fall. I'm super excited but a little nervous as well! All of the kids are going to be in school this year. My baby is going to Kindergarten which makes me cringe to even think about it. So this Momma needs something to do with her time to keep herself busy and something that will better the entire family in the long run! I never completed my education and it's something that has bothered me since. I know if I don't do this it will eat at me eternally! Ok, well just as long as I'm here on Earth. It's not going to ruin my heavenly experience. I owe this to myself and my kids! I'm not an idiot and am actually smart when I apply myself. I didn't even try in high school and I still came out with a 3.0 GPA so I know I can do this! And let me add that I regret not trying harder! If I only had the sense I have now back then! Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? I think mine may be even better than 20/20!

(Anyone who knows me and is reading this can keep their comments regarding my intelligence to themselves! I know I haven't always used my intelligence and boy have I paid dearly for it! )

On another note, I had to go to court this week and face my ex because he's not been paying his child support. Fun!(insert a massive amount of sarcasm right here!) I'm not talking about not paying here lately but not ever paying! It's over eleven thousand dollars past due. I'm not one of those women who are being fussy over a missed month or a late payment. This is substantial! After some prayer and much needed encouragement from friends and family my nerves were settled and I gave it to God and told Him I trusted that He was over it and that His will would be done regarding the matter. I have to go back again in August to find out the end results so I'm still praying! I get so frustrated when it comes to dealing with this stuff. I was not meant to have a life with him. I didn't let God put me where He wanted me. And because of this I have paid dearly. Do not misunderstand what I'm saying. I have two beautiful healthy children out of this relationship and I would NOT trade anything for them. I was not in God's will when I had them though. So dealing with an ex and child support is also part of me paying for my sin. It's a high price to pay. God still used my situation and the mess I made of my life and brought good out of it. I thank Him daily for Jeff and the life we share and our marriage. It's humbling to think of what disregard I had for God and how He's blessed me still. Everything happens for a reason and I see that more everyday and understand that more with each year that passes. Oh the knowledge that my mind has gained in ten years! I can't imagine what another ten will bring, Lord willing. My head may explode! LOL

In regards to my last entry about the homeless in the community things are still as they were then. I've arranged an appointment with the local director of our Mission ,that gives assistance to needy families. He is coming to our church to speak about the homelessness problem here in our community and what we can do. I'm hoping this is a start to something great for our community and our church. The need is there. If every church would call him and arrange a time, he would be willing to talk to them all about how they can help. He told me he would. I just wonder how many would make that call.

I hope you all have a great week, or month or whatever length of time it ends up being before I get to write again!

Here I am Lord, send me.......(I think)

2010-07-08T22:44:00.007-05:00

Ok, so it's been a while I know. I've been a busy body this last week and have ran like a mad woman! It's been fun but also tiring!

At my church I teach the K-5 Sunday school class. This is huge for me, and a great responsibility that I feel God has called me to do. I consider it a great privilege to be teaching, and to be quite honest I'm learning as much as the children are. I prayed about God using me in the church and it opened up for me to be able to do it and I'm just amazed on the regular at how God works! I challenged my kids in my first class to be thinking of different ways we could reach out to the community and to others in our church. Right away they mentioned feeding the poor and not just adults but the kids that are affected by hunger.

That is what got this ball rolling.

I typed up a letter and posted it at church and we started collecting food items that kids would enjoy to donate to our local food pantry. It's been a success. I called and spoke to a man at our food pantry and told him of our plans to donate the food items. I also asked him if he would be able to speak to the children a little bit about hunger and how it affects our community and how we can help. He was more than glad to do that, and then I asked him what were some other needs they had and what else we could do to help.

I was NOT prepared for the answer.

Turns out the growing need for our community is a homeless shelter. My heart sank and my mouth literally went dry and I asked him to repeat what he had just told me. Our town is small. The biggest thing here is a Dollar Store and a Rite Aide. There aren't many jobs available in our community, but do we need a homeless shelter? I never see anyone out on the street sleeping! If this were a problem or need wouldn't someone be doing something about it? This is not something that has been in any newspaper in our community or on any online paper in our community. This is a county that has numerous churches and resources within those churches to help.

I can't help but think of the Casting Crowns song "If We Are the Body" when I think of this. Here is the chorus:

If we are the body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way

There is a way

Guys I don't know what to do. I'm only one person. I feel like that God is pushing me to do something, but I'm not sure what. I've never heard God audibly speaking to me. It's more like a strong feeling I get when I'm asking Him about something or for something. Sometimes I ask God for stuff and as soon as I ask I get the answer in my heart. I'll feel it.

Does this make any sense to anyone??

I feel like God's calling me into something but I'm not 100%. It's something that is weighing on my heart and I can't get it off my mind. It's something that I know is greater and bigger than me, but at the same time as I am typing this my heart is telling me Philippians 4:13 and it's not just telling me it's yelling it to me. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!

I am reminded of ways that people helped me in my life in great times of need. I'm afraid to name them all because I know I would leave someone out. (You all know who you are and I am forever grateful to each and every one of you!)

I've been in a place of need.

It's awful and it feels worse than awful. There was a time when my youngest son was a baby that his dad and I couldn't afford anything. That was largely due to the fact that he was a drug addict and all his money went elsewhere. I shouldn't have stayed as long as I did but I felt like I could change him. I felt like I was enough to make him better and that our child would be enough to make him better.

Better never came.

I've been told that sometimes you can't see the forest for all the trees. That's the only way I can describe why I stayed. Without my Mom during that time I honestly can say that I would have had nothing. When I was a kid growing up my mom's sister, my Aunt Penny, never had much. She never could afford nice things or great big gifts for me and my cousin Katie. But I'll never forget the very best birthday of my life and the gift she gave me. She had a good job and was doing better than she ever had. On my 20th birthday she drove 2 hours to my house with a truck bed FULL of groceries and laundry detergent and cleaning stuff and diapers and wipes and everyday things that we take for granted a lot of times. That was my birthday present from her and it was perfect in every way. The biggest and best present that she hauled in the back of that truck was HOPE. I had all but lost it, but she had a load of it for me.

I want to be that for someone else. I want people to know that even in the bleakest of situations hope is not gone. When you lose hope, you've lost a lot. Since I have a relationship with Christ my hope no longer rests in this world. What an awesome unexplainable feeling knowing that my hope is not in this world!! However, as a Christian, it is mine and all Christians duties to be that hope for others. They are supposed to see Christ in us. Lord help me because I don't know about you all, but I'm not very Christ-like!! I ask each one of you that read this to evaluate yourself. You all are not alone in this! Believe you me .....I am doing some heavy duty evaluating of myself!

But lets ask ourselves If we are the body, why aren't we going?

So Much For Little Susie Homemaker!

2010-06-28T16:53:00.004-05:00

I'm about to reveal some ugly bit of truth and I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for this or you are but here goes! After all the truth will set us free so here goes nothing!

I am ,at best, a quarrelsome type of person.

Ok, so let me get real honest and take that whole "type of person" phrase out and replace it with wife.

I am actually a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy. Everyone but my husband, usually. As awful as that sounds it's true. I'm more content on making my friends or strangers happier than my husband. I offer more politeness and kindness outside of my home than inside. I knew this was a bad idea!!! This is starting to get really REAL!

(Boy am I going to regret this. He is going to see this you guys and he's going to be really shocked that I'm coming clean. But worse than that, he's going to hold me to this! Now this could get interesting for me over the course of the next few days! Lord, help me! Notice the small fine print here....maybe he won't notice!)

When I'm wrong, I'm not quick to admit it and especially not quick to admit it to him. I'm really asking God to help me out here because without His help I know it's a lost cause! Ok, well here's how this all came about: Today I was very ugly to Jeff! He broke our air conditioner in the living room. We just got this air conditioner this week! And worse than just getting it this week; it was given to us and saved us from having to go buy one which we really didn't have the money to go and do! He did NOT do it on purpose and it could have happened to anyone, but I lost it you guys! I'm talking snarling dragon, with a little drool, red eyes and the whole thing. The only thing missing was smoke and fire and the smell of sulphur, and I'm not 100% that any of that wasn't present either! Not pretty, I know! Worse than that was the look I remember seeing on his face while I was having this screaming fit at him. It was a look I've seen on my boys' faces when they've gotten in trouble or broken something. It's a look of defeat and shame and it was pitiful. It's a look that I know has been on my face a time or two when I've been in trouble as a kid. After all was said and done and he was on his way to get another one, I felt AWFUL! Conviction is a beautiful thing, otherwise i'd have no hope.

It made me stop and ask myself, "Jennifer, can you imagine him giving you that screaming & scolding fit over a mistake you had made?" It crushed me guys! There was a time when we were dating that I was tidying up his house while he was gone getting the kids. I was vacuuming his daughters room and broke the belt on the vacuum. I was terrified not only because I had broke it, but the smell of that thing stunk up the whole house! I was trying to show him how useful I was and helpful and I broke the darn thing!! When he arrived back home the first thing he wondered was, " What is the stench in here?"! I balled my eyes out and he just laughed and hugged me and thought I was silly. To me that was grace! Did I laugh and hug him today? Not even close! It also made me think of times I've gone to God and have screwed up and asked for forgiveness, and just how in the world would it be if God reacted to my mistakes the way I reacted to Jeff this morning. Lord, help me! Did I give Jeff the grace I'm so freely given everyday from God? Absolutely not!! I didn't even consider it. I wanted him to know just how awful it was and really wanted to prove my point. I was ready to fight! Not physically ,mind you, but I had my words ready! I was ready for a brawl of the words!!

I finally asked him to forgive me and told him I was sorry for harping on him this morning. I told him that I was sorry I didn't offer him the grace I so desperately need on a daily basis! My favorite thing I always tell Jeff is, "Just love me. Don't try and understand me, just love me." And he does. He really does love me in spite of myself and my faults. I'm so glad God sent him to me and I want to be the wife and mother that God wants me to be. Pride, and being contentious are going to keep me from doing just that. I've got to rely on God to see me through and give me all that He has for me. I've found some scripture today that God wrote just for me and Jeff.

Proverbs 21:19 KJV
It is better to dwell in the wilderness , than with a contentious and an angry woman.

(If any of y'all see Jeff out wondering in the woods, will you send him on home?)

Proverbs 25:24 KJV
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

Lord, help me to be the opposite of these 2 verses!!

Instead, I want to be like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (King James Version)
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I said I wanted to be, not that I'd ever fully be this woman!! She's amazing, and just reading this exhausts me! Lord, help us all to be the wives and mothers you have made us to be!!

In Jesus' name,

Amen

And Jeffrey, I do love you and I am sorry all over again! Just love me!!

Perfect timing & the hard-to-deal with F word!!!

2010-06-25T23:14:00.010-05:00

I want to talk about timing. Not just any timing either. The timing I want to talk about is all perfect, and always right. It doesn't matter what the circumstances or the situation it always prevails even when we think things are just turning to mush or falling apart before our very eyes. This timing is God's timing. Our clocks are not compatible with God's timing. God's timing is always perfect, precise, and...well on time. Does this mean we understand it? Not at all! Will we ever? Probably not! Were we made to? Not even close! But it's still vital to know. God's timing is not our timing.

We are such an impatient people. When we ask for something we wanted it yesterday, am I right? Ok, please tell me I'm not alone here! And if I am then that's ok too because God is showing me something. Has there ever been anyone in your life that you thought was just too far gone? It's been too long now and if God was gonna intervene then he'd already done it right?

Lord, this person is just out of your reach and why are they even still here taking up space and air? Ever prayed that prayer?

GUILTY!! You know the one where you say, "Lord I'll just have to handle this situation myself. Thanks for letting the sun rise today and being able to handle all that and the whole gravity thing ,but this problem with so & so has gone on long enough and I can take it from here!"

That is exactly what we should not do! There is nothing too far gone for God to handle or too late for God to handle it. There is not a person too far out of the will of God for Him to reach. They're still breathing aren't they? Then God has a plan for them!! Only God can hand out precise and accurate judgements. Our job is to forgive. There it is. That awfully hard to chew and swallow "F" word!

FORGIVE??? Yeah right, I'll forgive when pigs fly. FORGIVE! But you don't know what this person said to me. FORGIVE! But they did this to me Lord....FORGIVE!!!

Vengeance is God's job. Forgiving doesn't mean that we endorse their behavior or them. We just see the person or the situation through God's eyes. It's a decision we have to make. It's not like a love we have for our family. It's a love where we decide that we want the highest good for that person's life. It's not an emotional love. It's a choice we have to consciously make. Is it easy? Not at all. But if we expect to be forgiven of our sins we must first learn to forgive others. Give grace, but if need be then keep your distance. I'm not endorsing any type of negative behavior. If you have been abused then you need to get away from the abuser. Think of a convicted child molester. They may let them out of jail but they will not be allowed near play grounds. Forgiveness is not ignorance or embracing that person. You change your thoughts about them and think of them through heaven's viewpoint. Leave vengeance up to God and timing up to Him and Him alone.

I need prayers for this one! I'll be praying for you all too! Only by the grace of God can we achieve this guys!

But like it says in Phillipians 4:13:I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Even forgive!

The Story of Us

2010-06-23T14:21:00.004-05:00

Here is the story of how Jeff and I met. Buckle your seat belts and grab the Kleenex's! You have officially been warned!!!

I had just moved to town in 2006 with my two sons who were 3 and 1 1/2 at the time. I had left their Dad, who was a drug addict, when my youngest son was very small. It was vital that I got out of that destructive relationship for me and my kids. It was abusive and filled with lots of painful memories which only the good Lord has brought me through and healed me of. Only now am I fully even able to talk about in depth of the hell I lived through. (There will be more posts on this at later dates by the way because domestic violence is something that needs to be spoken about and not ignored! Too many women have kept silent!!)

I had lived with my Dad and Step-Mom for a good while before moving out to actually be on my own. I was working part time and a full time student soon thereafter to better my life for my boys and myself. I remember sometimes crying at night after I put the boys to bed and thinking I was never going to make it through it and I worried about the impact of my boys not having a Father in their lives. Being a single working Mom and full time student is NOT easy. My Dad was the only real male role model they were around and now we were in a different county and they didn't see him as much. My kids were in daycare and everyday that I picked my boys up, Jeff would be there picking his 2 kids Jared (age 6 at the time) and Allison (age 10 at the time). I remember laughing at Jared and how excited he would be to see his Daddy. I thought it was strange that he was always the one picking them up because that's usually a "Momma" thing but I didn't pay much attention to it. I know some women have crazy schedules. After a couple of months of school and work there was a particularly stressful evening I had with my oldest son who refused to listen to me. My Dad was always the one with the stern voice that could make him mind. Not me! There was nothing stern about mine no matter how hard I tried. I did a lot of yelling, to no avail of course. I felt I was at my wits end. I hit my knees that night and prayed that God would help me and someday send someone to me that would be a great Father for my kids and that loved us all and we loved him. In my previous relationship I was told over and over that no one would ever want me and the boys, so it was hard for me to actually think someone ever would, but nevertheless I prayed. Satan is the master and father of all lies!! You can take that to the bank!

Can I stop right here and just tell you that God is GOOD!!

That following weekend I took the boys to Wally world to get them a DVD player for their room and a few things for our apartment. They were as lovely as you can expect a 3 year old and a 1 year old to be in Wal-Mart. The next day they went to daycare and when I picked them up Jeff was walking his kids out along with me and we were parked beside each other. As I was putting the boys in the car he said, " I seen you at Wal-mart." (OK I know it's the cheesiest ever but it's how it happened! I tease him about it all the time!) All I was thinking was..." Oh great he seen us at Wal-Mart. Which one was I screaming at or threatening with a trip to the bathroom? Of all places why did you have to see us there?"

You do know that the best threats on a child's life are made at Wal-Mart don't you?

I told him that ,yes, we were there but I had never seen him. He asked me if I had much help with my boys and if their Daddy was in the picture. I told him that He was not in the picture at all and never even tried to be. He wanted to know if it was drugs and to which I answered yes but was shocked that he knew. He had only guessed but I thought it was strange. He went on to tell me that his ex-wife had a really bad problem with drugs and she wasn't involved with their kids either. This was surreal to me!! Could it be that he knew exactly where I was coming from? Was it possible for him to be in the same shoes I was in? Anyway we ended up exchanging phone numbers and he wanted to know if it would be OK to take the kids out to eat sometime or to the park or something. We left daycare and went our separate ways. I wondered about it all evening, if it was too good to be true. The next night he invited us to eat supper with him and his kids but we had already eaten. He suggested going to get a movie and we could come over to his house and watch it together. The boys and I loaded up and went to his house (which was amazingly clean and organized for a single man with 2 kids!). The kids were really familiar with each other already because of daycare. The movie he picked out was "Yours, Mine and Ours" which was a perfect choice. I sit in an over sized chair with his daughter and the boys played in Jared's room while we watched the movie. It was nice. We had so much in common and the kids got along great. That was the start to an incredible journey that really has only begun. We were inseparable after that. The kids asked to see each other all the time and Jeff and I had SO much in common. It seemed too good to be true. We asked each other all the time if it was. That was in September when we met. Come December he proposed. I believe it was on a Saturday. He got down on one knee and he told me he was going to ask me in the parking lot at daycare but couldn't wait that long. He told me that God had brought us together and even though we had been through a lot of bad it was time to start new. I was an emotional WRECK!! God had answered my prayer. I choked out a yes through sobbing. The rest is history! We got married in May in the Smokies and all our family came. The kids were part of the service. Our families were officially joined. It was beautiful! I couldn't ask for anymore than what God has given me but he keeps on giving. We made poor choices in life but God was still able to make good come out of it. Our family is thriving and we owe it all to Him! On May 26 we celebrated 3 years of marriage. Jeff is a wonderful husband and an awesome father. That's something ,I'm ashamed to say, that I don't tell him often enough. I love my 4 kids and my wonderful husband.

Isa 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

2010-06-23T11:52:00.003-05:00

So this is blogging, huh? This is new and going to be a learning experience for me so bare with me folks! I want this blog to be real and sometimes reality isn't always pretty. So if you're looking for pretty maybe you should go elsewhere. Sometimes I am NOT pretty nor is my life. Life is hard and we all face different obstacles on a daily basis. These are my obstacles and maybe someone else will be inspired or helped by the things that I go through. And if not, well, you'll just be relieved to know that you're not me! Only by the grace of God am I here and that's what I want this blog to be. Beauty in the mess! Hence the grace-aholic title. Without it I'm a goner and I need HUGE doses of it on a regular basis. I think it's only fitting as my first entry to tell about myself and how I've ended up where I am today. I’m 26 years old & married to the love of my life Jeffrey Lee. We have 4 children that keep us on our toes all the time! I have the privilege of being a stay at home mom for the moment & I’m enjoying every moment (OK…most moments) of that. Allison is the eldest at 13, Jared is 9, Hayden is 7 and Gunner is 5. Allison loves to sing & to remind Jeff & me of how very little we know about any & all things. Jared loves all things outdoors & is the most honest child I’ve ever met in my life. He loves to tell the truth even if it means telling on himself. I’m interested to see what God has for that boy! Hayden is my whiny boy. He is content doing his own thing & has a great love for music & is super smart. He’s a momma’s boy and has always been one and I’m just fine with that! Gunner is our baby; Baby Huey that is. You know the cartoon where the big abominable snowman picks up bugs bunny & says, “I’m gonna love him & pet him & squeeze him & I’ll call him George”? Well that’s Gunner; a gentle giant. He is the youngest but hardly the smallest. He’s half an inch behind Hayden who is 2 years older & has already surpassed Hayden in the weight department. He has a great big heart & loves everyone he meets. Our house is messy & most days I have laundry piled on my bed or overflowing in the basket beside my bed and that’s just how we roll folks! Jeff & I were married on May 26, 2007. I’ll post how that transpired maybe later today because it’s a very long but very critical part of this story and how we’ve wound up here! God has blessed our family beyond any words that are available to man. I’m amazed at where I’ve been brought from to where I am today. I’m only now beginning to see just how God has used me and the people in my life to shape the woman I am becoming.